What Not To Say To Your Mother

   Have you ever wondered how to double your chances of living under your parent's roof until your 18? Have you ever asked yourself the question, "If I actually say that, will I be kicked out?" If one of your biggest fears being unceremoniously thrown out with the bath water, then you've come to the right blog post. Here are some things not to say if you enjoy free food:

   1: When that music came on the radio, I thought it was you banging on the piano. 
If your mom practices the piano random times of the day and she sometimes plays at church, this phrase should be avoided at all costs. Especially if it's on a Saturday night. Instead, try something like, "That sounded really good!" or my personal favorite, "If I sing loud enough tomorrow, no one will be able to tell you're skipping those sharps!"

   2: How's that laundry coming? 
Even an idiot could tell you this is a bad thing to say. Parents don't like to be asked how things are going if they are grudgingly doing that task for you. If this doesn't get you kicked to the curb, it will at least get you sorting your whites.

   3: Can I go to the movies today? *ten minutes later* Can I go to the movies today? *five minutes later* Hey Mom, can I go to the movies today? *fifteen minutes later* So, is it okay if I go to the movies today? 
"Hey Brenna, did you know you're annoying me today?" or "Hey Brenna, if you ask one more time you won't be going anywhere!" Don't annoy your mom. She doesn't appreciate it, trust me. Ask once every hour or so, and do it subtly. Or else all you town folk won't be going to your midnight showing of Twilight.

   4: Somebody is crabby today.
Freeze. Put yourself in your mom's shoes. If you're in an especially foul mood, you don't like it when people blatantly point it out, do you? Neither does she. In fact, it usually makes her more irritable, even angry! Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath." This could be flipped around to say, "Children, provoke not your Mother to wrath.... especially if she is chopping vegetables for dinner."

   5: Mom. Mooooooooom. MOOOOM. MOM! Mom.
This is what irritates my own mother most. She says we sound like bucket calves. Moooooom! Mothers hate it when you say their name over and over and over..... and over again. This common phrase is usually responded to with a loud, "WHAT?" If you absolutely have to use this phrase, please, please don't reply to her "what" with "We're out of toilet paper." At least make it worth her while.

I speak from experience. I have received the threat, "Do you want to move out before you graduate?" If you take my advice, you'll finish out the rest of your years at home in peace. Well, unless your mom is completely psychotic. No guarantees there.


In His Service,
Brenna

A New Year Begins

   2012 is finally here, and the jokes about the end of the world just keep getting better and better!
    The last year was really awesome. I joined my first sport, attended my favorite camp, got my first real job, met a bunch of people, went to Disney World, and started my Sophomore year of high school. I learned a lot, and had a really good time learning most of it.
   I'm really excited about what this new year will bring, but really nervous too. In February our class gets to do a neat little thing called "Job Shadows," in which we go on a trip to learn more about our careers. Cool, except I have no idea what I want to do after high school. There are just so many jobs available, and I'm interested in a lot of them. It's especially frustrating when someone asks you what you plan on doing with your life, and you're forced to reply with, "that's a really good question that I don't know the answer to."
   Even though I'm anticipating much of what the new year brings, I'm also dreading some things. What about you, readers? What are you looking forward to and cowering from? I would love to pray for any of you.
   My imaginary New Year's Resolution is pretty simple: Do well in school, grow closer to God, and be a witness for Him. Reaching our goals can be a struggle, but through God we can do it (Matthew 19:26.)
   Starting a new year reminds me of a line from The Fellowship of the Ring: "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door," he used to say. "You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."  Haha, sorry, I'm a nerd. But seriously, new years are scary things. They are new chapters in your book, new launching points for your life. The decisions that come with them can be intimidating. If any of you would like prayer to start out your new year, please let me know. I would be more than happy to oblige.

In His Service,
Brenna